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Mum carries triplets to full-term knowing one has tragically died in her womb

It's been really tough on the whole family...

By Frances Sheen

May 17 2019

A devastated mum endured half her pregnancy knowing one her triplets would be born stillborn.

Kirsty Alexander, 33, and her husband John, 39, fell pregnant in July 2018 but she experienced some very early bleeding.

Fearing it was a miscarriage, Kirsty and John booked in an early ultrasound at seven weeks, and discovered there were THREE heartbeats.

"I immediately laughed and cried simultaneously, and my hands were shaking," Kirsty explained."The nurse in the room had to get me some water because I became so faint."

Off to Kings College at Denmark Hill to see our 3 babies!! I get so overly excited but also so completely anxious to see them as just want them to all be ok! We have a placenta scan first of all, I think because one of our three placentas is quite low, followed by one of our normal scans. Very excited to see the triplets and see all of their progress. Just waiting patiently now while @bonnie_and_the_triplets_daddy gets me a hot chocolate. Bonnie is at home having fun with Nanny and Grandad! ❤️ #tripletsofinstagram #twinsandmultiples #pregnantwithtriplets #triplets #tripletpregnancy #bonnieandthepeas #babyscan #pregnancyscan #4under2

Unfortunately, at 18 weeks, a scan showed that one of the babies had fluid on her brain and shortly after she died.

Kirsty and John had joked that their three little babies looked like ‘dots’ in the womb so they called the baby who passed away, Dotty.

But there was nothing they could do to remove Dotty and she remained in the womb with her brother and her sister.

All three babies were born at full term and, Dotty, Delilah and Wilfred were delivered via caesarean on March 6, 2019.

After the extreme mix of emotions from yesterday, I've woken up today feeling completely amazed at what my body is doing. There have been times since losing our little Dotty that I've been completely angry at my body for not being able to keep her safe, but most of all I'm proud and grateful of the amazing job my body is doing by growing our precious triplet survivors and also carrying all three of our babies. I thought I would share a bump shot to show the progress we are making at just over 25 weeks ❤️ . . #babybelly #babybump #pregnantbelly #25weekspregnant #pregnantmummy #secondpregnancy #tripletpregnancy #babyloss #babylossawareness #heartbreak #tripletsurvivors #survivingtriplets #tamba #twinsandmultiples #perinatalmentalhealth #pregnantwithanxiety #findthehappy #love #mentalhealthsupport #pregnancymentalhealth #forevergrateful

After the birth, Kirsty became terrified that the other two twins were at risk of dying too and her anxiety spiralled out of control.

"I was advised to start trying to share my feelings and emotions, but I just didn't feel strong enough to speak face to face about what happened. That's when I started using Instagram to share how I was feeling. It helped so much to let go of some of the fear, upset and anger that I had bottled up,” Kirsty revealed.

Since then, she has shared her journey on her Instagram page and has found a network of women in a similar position who give each other support and love.

@bonnie_and_the_peas_daddy and I are completely overjoyed to tell you that our precious little triplet survivors arrived safely on Wednesday 6th March at 11:11am and 11:12am at 36+6 gestation. Our beautiful daughter and Bonnie's new little sister arrived first weighing an amazing 5lb 4oz, followed by our gorgeous son and Bonnie's new little baby brother, weighing a wonderful 5lb 7oz. Our precious sleeping Dotty was delivered next at 11:14 and was taken safely to rest with her bunny and blanket until we are ready to say our goodbyes to her. We are so completely overwhelmed with love for our babies and the relief that finally holding them in our arms has given us both. There have been lots of tears and emotions, but the joy we are feeling is truly indescribable. I've been recovering well after my C-section and although still very sore, the babies have been feeding really well and we are just getting our heads around tandem breastfeeds so feeling really proud. Bonnie is going to meet her new baby brother and sister in the next day or so which we are incredibly excited for. We know she'll be a truly amazing big sister to them! We're still deciding on names but will announce as soon as we know. Thank you to everyone for such an overwhelming amount of love and support over the last few months ❤️ . . #babyannouncement #newborns #babyboy #babygirl #siblings #sister #newbigsister #triplets #tripletsofinstagram #survivingtriplets #twinsandmultiples #tamba #birthannouncement #family #3under3 #twinsofinstagram #newlittlesister #newlittlebrother #multiplemum #multiplebirth #prematurebabies #boygirltwins #newbabies #babyloss #perinatalmentalhealth

"Since having the triplets and going through that grief but also feeling such joy for our surviving babies, it's truly put into perspective how precious life is. I appreciate every second I get with my babies; I hold them even tighter and love them even more unconditionally than I even thought possible since losing Dotty.

"The strength of any parent who has experienced loss is phenomenal, but so many of them suffer in silence and don't get the support they need and deserve. Talking really does help lift the weight of grief, but parents need support to feel like they can open up to get through what is the most heart-breaking experience."

If you or anyone you know needs help after losing a baby, you can contact:

SANDS: 1300 072 637 An an independent organisation that provides support for newborn death, stillbirth and miscarriage.

Pregnancy Birth and Baby: 1800 882 436 Trusted advice and emotional support anytime 7 days a week.

Bears of Hope 1300 11 HOPE Provides grief support and care for families who experience the loss of their baby.