Should I tell my husband our daughter has started her period?

Do you keep her confidence or let him know what's going on?

July 16 2018

It all started few months ago when my daughter got her period. She's just eleven and in Year Six so she was incredibly freaked out about it - she knew what was going on and we’d talked about it happening soon for a while, but nothing can quite prepare a girl for that moment. 

In the emotional hours that followed, she grabbed my hands and said: ‘Please don’t tell Dad, I’m so embarrassed!’ And while I now know I should’ve assured her it’s normal and natural and not to feel that way - at the time, looking into her sad, stressed puppy dog eyes, I said: I ‘Of course, sweetheart - it’s our little secret.’

But in the ensuing days, I realised what a secret I was keeping. My daughter didn’t want to go to school much to my husband’s bewilderment, burst out crying when he suggested a swim (it was a 30-plus degree day) and panicked when he asked why she was ‘in a weird mood’. 

Later that night - and for nearly three months now - my husband has been kept in the dark. I’m torn between keeping my word to my daughter and keeping my mouth shut - or being honest to my husband. 

The truth is, my husband would be lovely and respectful and mindful if he knew that it was her time of the month - but I also know those feelings of embarrassment and anxiety that my daughter is going through from when I was 12. 

I’ve tried telling her that she’s being silly about her dad knowing, and that he will never mention it - but the look of horror and ‘No! It’s too embarrassing! Please don’t tell anyone Mummy!’ stops me in my tracks. 

But I’ve know dug such a hole that I don’t know what to do. Do I come clean to my husband, or keep my daughter’s secret?